Mark Daniels: Exterior Decoration By Punch Taverns

With only two weeks to go now until my charity bike ride, which conveniently coincides with the end of Proud of Pubs week, I'm spending quite a bit of time out-and-about on my bike right now.

One of the things that always keeps me and my cycling partner amused is looking at pubs as we cycle by and trying to work out whether they are nice places to take our families, what the landlords might be like, whether kids are welcome, does the pub dog smell, and so on and so forth.

Last week, whilst out on a very hot and sunny day, we cycled by a pub with a big banner out the front that, at first, made me guffaw with laughter. It was truly funny.

All the other pubs we'd ridden by had banners proclaiming the arrival of the World Cup, free deals on Coca Cola, Sunday Lunches from just £5.95, and a dwindling amount of pubs with Sky Sports and ESPN banners. In the bright sunshine, every pub looked welcoming, especially as my water bottle, filled with all the flavoursome wonders of an electrolyte drink, was close to empty.

But one particular pub had this banner hanging on its wall: "Exterior decoration by Punch Taverns."

I have to say I found it amusing, and fair play to the landlord for sticking to his guns and, presumably, his principles. But then I took notice of the building which, up until that point, I hadn't done.

In fact, if I hadn't read his sign I don't think I would even have noticed that the outside of the pub needed some attention. But then, when I thought about the outside of the pub, and his sign, I began to wonder what the inside was like. And whether, if I went in, the landlord would be moaning about the tie and the way his pubco treat him and that got me thinking that the atmosphere inside might be a little thin.

So we rode on.

And here's the thing: we all have our different moans and groans with regards to our businesses, and it can certainly be frustrating if your landlord isn't living up to their end of the bargain when it comes to the maintenance of the property, but your customers don't want to hear about it. They want to go somewhere they're going to be made to feel welcome, and comfortable. If they ask about the flaky paint, then they're fair game, but they don't want to think that the discussion is going to happen anyway.

With some nice plants out the front, the pavements swept and clean tables, the fact that the paintwork needs attention becomes secondary. It could even be classed as 'rustic' and 'aged'. And while the customers are being kept entertained by your warm, lively and slightly quaint environment, you can be in your office beating verbal hell out of your BDM to get your exterior decoration sorted.

Repainting the walls might be beyond means, but there's nothing to stop any of us nipping to Homebase and picking up a cheap tin of paint just to tidy the windowsills and doors up while we're waiting for the big job to be completed.

Sadly, if you're of the frame of mind to put a sign up slagging your pubco off to all and sundry, you might as well put one up that says "I'm a tied tenant so my prices are ridiculously more expensive than his next door, I can't afford to clean the carpet and I'll bitch at you about it until you leave..."

Which will probably happen quicker than your pubco fixing the outside of your building.

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Rent Disputes

Talking of getting upset with pub companies, a poll on this very website this week asked "Are you in a rent dispute with your pubco?" At the time of writing, 45% of respondents said that they were, while 55% said they weren't.

This got me thinking: of the 45%, how many truly are in rent dispute, and how many just ticked the 'yes' box because they're a bit miffed with the price they're currently paying in rent?