Mark Daniels: Going for a ride...
On the morning of Monday 26th July I shall most likely wake up in bed, still caked in sweat and my muscles quivering with fatigue.
This won't be a delayed reaction to England's obvious success in the forthcoming World Cup tournament, nor - unfortunately - will it be because I finally managed to spend a night of unbridled passion between the sheets with Jennifer Aniston.
Instead, I'll be trying to recover from taking part in the London to Cambridge cycle ride the day before.
What started approximately twelve months ago between my friend, Keith, and myself was a simple need to work off a bit of beer belly. Back then, attempting to complete a circulatory four-mile route felt like it would kill us. And took about an hour to achieve.
Gradually, we were able to build up both our pace and our stamina but, as winter approached, we needed an incentive to keep us cycling through the icy conditions. Somewhat foolishly, we decided it would be a good idea to take part in a cycling event and so, on Sunday 25th July, Keith Lomas and I, along with friends from the pub, will be taking part in the 57 mile event.
Now, ordinarily I hate begging letters, but understandably we'll be raising money for good causes: my youngest son is affected by Asperger's Syndrome and this local charity, Asperger's East Anglia, works with families and individuals whose lives have been altered by this condition. Keith's chosen cause is the Irregular Cornea Foundation, an organisation founded to help raise global awareness of irregular cornea conditions and Keith's company, UltraVision CLPL, works closely with them. The organisers of the event are Breakthrough Breast Cancer, and therefore we'd like to help make a contribution to them too.
I'm not writing this to ask for donations, but should you feel you'd like to help us raise money for these good causes and support us in making sure all the hard work of staying on the bikes throughout last winter's freezing temperatures was worthwhile, even the smallest contribution will be gratefully received and so I've included a link to our Charity Giving page at the end of this blog.
It's also worth noting, for comedic purposes, that (unless some generous pubco feels like donating me a brand new bike) I'm going to be taking part in this event on my aged Raleigh mountain bike that I think is older than my children's ages combined! And I haven't changed a puncture since the age of fifteen.
I'm a little worried that the lack of punctures over the past twenty three years might catch up on me all in one go...
With just shy of two months to go until the day itself, and with the World Cup hopefully going to be keeping me busy in the pub in between, I suspect July 25th will be here before I know it but you'll be able to keep up with how we're getting on via my Twitter feed @marktharparms or on my personal blog The Tragic Column.
To ensure my poor old bones don't end up in too much of a bad way and that I don't get saddle sore, my wife has very generously been out and bought me a pair of cycling shorts that, quite frankly, make me feel like I'm wearing a nappy, a pair of fingerless gloves to stop my hands chafing on the handlebars, and a helmet that, honestly, makes me look like a berk.
Add to that the hi-viz t-shirt that I need to wear to make sure the traffic can see me wobbling about on the road and I end up looking like a human Fab Ice Lolly. Only nobody ever seems too keen on the idea of licking me after I've been for a ride...
We're hoping to complete the distance in under six hours and then get back to the pub for a few celebratory pints. I suspect, however, that by the time I've collapsed on Cambridge's Midsummer Common all I'll be wanting is the kiss of life.
So, if anybody's got Jennifer's number, please tell her where I'll be....
--
Please do help support us on our ride by visiting www.charitygiving.co.uk/markkeithandothers - details of the ride and the charities we are raising money for can be found there.
