Pub bitch: beaches, maidens and handbags
Morgan's maidens
With the weather playing havoc with this year's Ashes Test series, at least Marston's Brewing Company has been on hand to provide refreshment and the odd bit of off-the-wall entertainment for those left to stare at a waterlogged outfield. Former-Fleet-Street-editor-turned-incisive-
interviewer-extraordinaire Piers Morgan was certainly in fine mood when he was snapped with the 'Marston's Maidens' at the recent Test at Edgbaston. With the game grinding relentlessly towards a draw Morgan understandably bears the expression of a cat which has just mounted a successful raid on the fridge for the double cream. Can't quite work out what the sunnies are for though, Piers, unless they're to disguise where you're looking…
Handbags at the GBBF
Looks like there is still a bit of mediation work to be done to sort out the 'pubco versus licensee' debate if a meeting between two key players at the recent Great British Beer Festival is anything to go by. Just as a big-wig from the British Beer & Pub Association was about to shake hands with a fellow guest at the cask ale drinkathon he swiftly withdrew the offer when he discovered said hand belonged to a member of Fair Pint, the industry's leading bête noire. A sharp conversation continued until the anti-beer-tie fanatic inquired, in polite terms I'm told, where exactly beer tax campaigning cartoon character 'Mr Pinty' might be? Miaow! Good luck sitting back round the table in September gents…
Nightlife studies
Drinks company Global Brands, which owns Vodka Kick, is advertising on Facebook for someone to research and write a thesis on what makes a good night out. The 'lucky' applicant will "travel the length and breadth of the country aboard the VK double-decker bus sampling Britain's best nightlife to finally figure out the definitive formula for fun". But far from being an excuse to get hammered VK claims the trip has "a serious side". The successful applicant "will be expected to deliver a full thesis at the end of the trip that must stack up to academic scrutiny by Britain's best brains". That's as may be, but one can't help recall a phrase containing the words 'money', 'for', 'old' and 'rope'.
Socking it to the supermarkets
It's not just the pub industry having a pop at the nation's supermarkets, it seems. Bob Farrand, chairman of the Guild of Fine Food, has launched a withering attack on the practice of telling consumers they can have "the best food at rock-bottom prices". Supermarket's 'speciality food' ranges, such as 'Taste the Difference' and 'Finest' were "in reality… designed to hit a price point, not a quality standard", thundered Farrand. With such campaigns supermarkets were merely "putting a gloss on mediocrity and convincing consumers cheap food is a good thing — at the expense of producers, farmers, and the environment". You tell 'em Bob, you tell 'em…
Sexing up cask ale
To the beach, where on the one good day of the summer I went down to Cornwall to soak up the sun and enjoy the view. But who was this I saw romantically striding out of the waves — none other than St Austell Brewery's very own Trevor Tribute out for a walk with his girlfriend. A pic of the pair is the basis of a caption competition in the latest issue of St A's in-house magazineTeam Spirit . I'll leave the punchline to some of the entries so far...'Yet another fine pint pulled!', said one wag. 'The invite to the beach party did say "Bring Your Own Beer"' was another entry. My own favourite is the simple "That's right, she picked him up in a bar". Give those Cornish competition entrants a Tribute!
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