Hamish Champ: Quality of life?

The phrase 'quality of life' is a highly interpretable - and of course highly personal - one.

Last week the small enclave of Elmbridge in Surrey was adjudged to be the best place to live in England, according to a 'raft' of criteria which included personal wealth, house prices, local amenities, ease of transport, etc, ad nauseum.

Home to a number of Chelsea footballers and other rich but wishing-to-remain-anonymous types, one can well imagine what sort of place Elmbridge is: idyllic yet not cut off from the world, complete with a village pond, charming local pub, residents greeting each other with a cheery wave, children laughing as they make their way to a nearby school where the teachers outnumber the pupils. Marvellous stuff.

Meanwhile the Shetland Islands, the most northerly populated part of the United Kingdom, was given a similarly glowing accolade as the best place in Scotland to live in.

Now I'm not taking anything away from the good people of the Shetlands. I haven't even visited the place - though I know its near neighbours the Orkney Islands well - so what do I know?

All I do know is, however fab its own inhabitants believe it to be I couldn't imagine living on an island seemingly devoid of trees, windswept, barren almost.

Which is what makes these quality of life assessment exercises so… interesting.

I've met plenty of people who say they could never, ever imagine why they'd want to live in London. Indeed there are times when I wonder myself.

Too many people, the capital's critics intone. Too much traffic; too violent; too full of Cockneys. Then there's the crap Southern beer; the lousy schools; the dodgy pubs; the awful public transport; the loathsome football teams. Etc.

Visit the place, they say, yes. But imagine putting down roots there? Never.

I've heard every condemnatory comment about London going. But born 'n' bred in the capital as I was I still love it.

Don't get me wrong, I love other parts of the country too. The Highlands of Scotland are magical, the Districts Lake and Peak as beautiful as anything you'll find in the world, and the South West coast is a delight. Then there are the rolling hills of Kent and the bleak beauty of the Yorkshire Moors.

It's not just the rural stuff either. I love other cities too: Manchester, Liverpool, and Edinburgh to name three. I reckon I could probably live somewhere else other than London if it came to it.

But for all its crap, I love my home town above all others: its bustle; its diversity; its noise; its great boozers; its wonderful parks; the Thames; the range of buildings; Chelsea FC. Etc.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, I grant you. But hey, quality of life? It's as you find it.