Mark Daniels: Pubs don't do cheap booze. But supermarkets do.

Well, let's scrap that last one, shall we? Although I did find my missing safe keys and thirty five quid in a pair I dug out of the wardrobe on Monday morning. What that says about my wife's laundry regime is probably best left unsaid.

The warm May sun beat down on us as we collected up the ashtrays and empty glasses, the smell of barbecues from surrounding gardens wafted towards us and the distant clink of beer bottles, chinked together in celebration of the weather, reached our ears.

Oh what a pleasant image it paints, but not so for the publican who decided to close up for the afternoon on Monday because, well, there was nobody about.

Don't get me wrong - the weekend had, indeed, been a good one for us, but there was no mistaking the fact that people had gone home to enjoy the weather. And cheap booze.

Not so long ago the major supermarkets were seen to be defending their positions on the price of their alcohol. Together they chorused that they didn't sell "cheap" booze and were wholeheartedly behind action to curb binge drinking, prevent the sale of alcohol to underage purchasers, and ultimately stated that they were all for the responsible retailing of alcohol.

And then Tesco got caught out on an in-house investigation in to underage sales.

So it didn't really shock me to discover, then, that this weekend Tesco were at a bit of irresponsible marketing once again.

"Carlsberg don't do price promotions," the strapline declared, "but we do." And then they offered viewers a crate of Carlsberg Export, a nice premium beer, for £7.49. Apparently, that works out at just 37p a bottle. Let's say the bottle works out at, for argument's sake, half a pint then that price equals - ooh, 74p a pint.

Given that I was probably still in dungarees and my mum wore flares when beer was last that price, I'd say that was cheap. Especially when you factor in that a similar product in a pub could cost you more than four times that.

In a moment of temper, I wrote to Alistair Darling after his budget and suggested that he might want to consider looking at what he was doing to the pub trade. I suggested to him that, whilst we might not be able to legislate against supermarket price policies, it is possible to prevent them from boasting about them through advertising. And I mentioned that he might need to think about putting some of his 4p beer tax rise to one side to create a benevolent fund for out-of-work publicans.

Whilst Mr Darling might not have replied to my letter, supermarkets in general have stood on their pedestals since the budget and announced that they aren't doing anything wrong, that they sell responsibly and that they're not out to destroy Britain's pub heritage.

One representative of a supermarket even appeared on a radio show and stated that her company couldn't put their prices up - presuming, of course, that they might want to - because then all their customers would simply go and buy the alcohol from one of the other chains.

Well duh. Imagine how we, as publicans, feel. Monday's mass-exodus to the back garden barbecue said it all.

The recent scheme in Scotland, which saw anybody under the age of 21 not being allowed to buy alcohol from off-trade establishments like supermarkets, saw a massive reduction in crime. Preventing supermarkets from advertising their cheap deals would also help.

And I haven't yet figured out why Mr Darling thinks it would be too difficult to administer a lower level of tax on cask or keg alcohol sold through pubs.

All of this would help reduce under-age drinking and crime and help promote a healthy social life in pubs. Not to mention responsible retailing.

Pubs don't do hypocrisy. But, it seems, supermarkets do.