Chris Maclean: Bar billiards RIP

Wikipedia tells me the game originated in the thirties and is mostly found in the South of England in parts of London, Kent, Sussex and Berks.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game the table is smaller than a pool table and is only played from one end. Classically a bar billiard table would be put in a quiet part of the pub against a wall. The table has a clockwork mechanism to time the game, usually about fifteen minutes, after which an invisible bar dropped and the balls no longer emerged. Bar billiards enthusiasts eschewed the game of pool as lacking finesse. For a bar billiard player the gentle rhythmic game was far more controlled.

At its peak in Canterbury there were ten divisions in the league and every pub seemed to have teams and a good table. It was sociable and fun. The perfect form of pub game.

Then came the Oxford shot.

Serious players developed a technique whereby both the balls were potted simultaneously. They refined their game to a point where they could methodically pot both balls with such regularity that they would take the entire time and rack up extraordinary scores. It was mind-numbingly boring to watch. In my last pub, I am afraid to say, we won a trophy for one player scoring over 28,000 points. Opponents might have travelled across the county to witness their opponent play out the table having never touched their own cues. It killed the game.

For many this was the turning point. Divisions folded, leagues collapsed, pool tables replaced the billiards tables and food tables took precedence. Bar billiards leagues fought gamely to re-invigorate the game but sadly the tables kept being removed. And now my supplier has withdrawn from the market.

At its best it was a family game. It lacked the testosterone fuelled feel of the game of pool. Couples could play billiards. Women competed equally and, particularly if the men were experienced pool players, would often beat men. Fathers would gently groom sons on the subtler art. It was competition without aggression.

As an item of furniture it has its own grace. The green baize lit from above. The iconic score-board and plastic window sign announcing "Bar Billiards Played Here". Glorious. If I were to pick four essential things for my classical pub they would have to be an open fire, a piano, a dart-board and, of course, a bar billiard table.

So now my supplier has finished. I have now bought the table from them and will continue, as long as I can maintain it, to provide this game in my pub. But, for me, this news is almost as sad as the smoking ban and the duty changes. It is another loss to the British pub tradition.