Out on the piste with the ALMR

Lucky old Snifter has just returned from a week on the slopes of Verbier in the pleasant company of members of the Association of Licensed Multiple Retailers (ALMR).

It's not often that Snifter encounters a group of men who aren't keen on gadgets, but my new leg suspension device, the "mojo", was quickly written off as callipers and dismissed by all.

The fact that the device broke on day three leading to Snifter having to strip off on the slopes to remove it was not met with sympathy, instead people stood around laughing and taking photos.

Snifter is not an experienced skier by any means but was quite flattered when press-ganged into joining an "advanced" ski group called "Thorley Bores". Having skied just two runs all morning, whilst sitting out the rest with the wives watching the likes of Turbo Tony break their limbs on more technical runs, it was left to the group's hatchet lady, kindly Cerys, to sack him from the team.

A welcome release indeed.

Watching PJ Thorley's distinctly out-of-date ski wear and ludicrous orange glasses disappearing into the distance was more of a tonic than the vin chaud Snifter celebrated with afterwards (Snifter is already saving up for a purple and pink all-in-one ski outfit so as to be one decade more up-to-date than Thorley).

Snifter's personal ski instructor summed up the technical ability of the group afterwards, "Zey are bliddy danjereus, but my beegest fear is for ze ozer skiers."

It was a very enjoyable trip, thanks to a fine troupe of people. There isn't room to print all the participants' names, but Snifter wishes to single out Niki Graske, from the ALMR, for a special thank you - allowing a group of pub owners to gatecrash your family ski holiday isn't everyone's idea of fun but Niki took it all with good humour.