Scathing response to 'impossible' TripAdvisor review gives licensee the last laugh

The Brittania Inn, Brigg, North Lincolnshire was hit with a critical review​ which bemoans that the pub stops serving food after 8pm, on one occasion had run out of steak, and there was a 40 minute wait for food.

The customer also takes issue with a dish named ‘crushed potatoes’, rather than mashed.

Licensee Calvin Dow said he was first ‘deeply saddened’ by the review, but after looking through the TripAdvisor user’s complaints in detail, decides the pub didn’t do anything wrong.

The last word

“TripAdvisor reviewers don't necessarily have to have the last word,” the licensee told the PMA​. 

“Now it's gone viral! Surprisingly all of the comments to the response has been totally positive,” he explained.

The customer reviewed the pub twice – once with a long list of issues and an ‘average’ rating, and again with  a ‘terrible’ rating and accompanying compliant that he arrived at 7:30pm and was told food must be ordered by 8pm.

Impossible

His response tears into the reviewer’s seemingly petty complaints: “You, my good man, are near on impossible to please!

“It didn't seem as if we'd done anything wrong, as such, just that you couldn't have your own way!?”

Dow justifies the waiting time by explaining all of the pub's food is freshly prepared and cooked on site.

Dow continues: “As opposed to prepared in a microwave, perhaps what you're used to!? 

“I was prepared to let it go over my head, as, quite frankly, I have broad shoulders and a pub to run. However, after your latest review of one of our competitors, you even slated us on their Tripadvisor page, mentioning our pub! And that's slander, my friend!

Upsetting

“Everybody is entitled to their opinion but when it gets personal, like in this case, you result in upsetting people.”

Dow scanned over some of the 175 reviews of other venues by the same user.

His response continues: “I bet the cold Winter nights just fly by in your house. When I realised that you go as far as reviewing a kebab shop, I laughed and gave up!”

See the full response below.

Have you had any issues on TripAdvisor? Email oli.gross@wrbm.com

"Good evening Sir, ​

After reading your reviews on TripAdvisor that you left for us, I was at first, deeply upset and saddened, as all we want to do, here at the Britannia is to ensure that every customer enjoys their experience here and leaves satisfied and wants to come back...​
You however, my good man, are near on impossible to please! After reading your first review, which took me half a day to read, it was that intense..(Also if you punctuate and write in paragraphs it's an awful lot easier and less strenuous to trawl through.. just a friendly hint for any future slatings!) it didn't seem as if we'd done anything wrong, as such, just that you couldn't have your own way!?​

Firstly, crushed new potatoes and mashed potatoes are two completely different things (Crushed are crushed new potatoes, with skin-on in garlic butter and mash is, well... mash!) ​
The reason you waited 40 minutes for your food was that all of our food is freshly prepared to order and cooked on-site, as opposed to prepared in a microwave, perhaps what you're used to!? ​

After getting over your first novel of a review, I bravely moved on to your second negative slating. Which, in my honest opinion, didn't even have a point!? ​

I quote: "I asked the barmaid if food was still being served. It was 7.30pm and she told us they stopped serving at 8pm. Oh dear." ​

Please tell us where we went wrong there, then!!? Surely that meant you had a whole thirty minutes to order food!? (and in reference to your first review, as we only had "3 or 4 items available") your choice should have been almost instant, surely, what on earth were you doing!? On with your next review, perhaps?​

Now, after reading your 'reviews' (I'm not counting the second one, as it's pointless) I was prepared to let it go over my head, as, quite frankly, I have broad shoulders and a pub to run, however, after your latest review of one of our competitors, you even slated us on their TripAdvisor page, mentioning our pub! and that's slander, my friend!​

Everybody is entitled to their opinion but when it gets personal, like in this case, you result in upsetting people, again, like in this case, it's personal now...​

I was prepared to contact TripAdvisor, as not only did you mention us, you also slated another competitor on there too, not cool! But, after sleeping on it (And you'll be pleased that I did, as I can only imagine what you would have written, had you have read my first attempt of a reply to you...) ​

Instead, I looked at all of your other reviews (there are 175 by the way!! I bet the cold Winter nights just fly by in your house!) and when I realised that you go as far as reviewing a kebab shop, I laughed and gave up! ​

Judging by your latest review of our competitors, you are very happy there (for now, until they do anything other than mash your potatoes) So why don't we reach an agreement... I wont report you to TripAdvisor for slander and/or slate you on Facebook and you stay away from our hostelry for the foreseeable future...​

Sound fair? ​

The Landlord :)"​