Well, it seems the lines are already buzzing. So let’s get talking to some publicans.
Who’s our first caller Ros?”
“Henry. He runs The Pauper in Bournemouth.”
“Hello Henry, I’m listening.”
“Hi Doc. There’s something I really don’t understand.”
“Really? I’d have thought that with the new codes, everything would be crystal clear.”
“My pubco keeps referring to the term ‘reasonably efficient operator’. Any idea what they’re talking about?”
“Did you ask your BDM?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he say?”
“‘Errr…yes well…..errr…yes well’. He then buggared off to the gents and stayed in there for over an hour! Can you believe that?”
“Ah yes, the old toilet trick! Faced with awkward questions they invariably defuse the situation by making a beeline for the bathroom. It’s a classic strategy; one of the first things pubcos teach their BDMs.”
“He eventually came back muttering something about being late for an appointment and left pretty sharpish. I haven’t seen him since.”
“Evasive as ever. But then again, why are we surprised? After all, many of them have much to be evasive about, don’t they?
You see the term reasonably efficient operator is, like many things in the tied sector, obscured within swirling mists of ambiguity; the product of some highly creative and fanciful minds.
Little wonder then that pubcos appear highly reluctant to acknowledge tenants are REOs; somewhat less hesitant though in suggesting they’re not up to the mark when turnover heads south.
If a pub experiences a downturn, does this inevitably result in the operator being branded a failure?
Surely the endorsement of REO status is equally applicable during the good times as well as the bad? After all, capable tenants don’t become incompetent overnight, do they?
It shouldn’t be forgotten that the woes currently afflicting the industry are not of the tenants making. Yet it is they who have to deal with the thankless legacy placed upon them by those all too eager to absolve themselves of blame.
Isn’t it a pity that those who point the finger couldn’t occasionally acknowledge their own shortcomings?
On occasion, the tied publican must empathise with the trials and tribulations of the high jumper. No sooner has s/he reached a personal best than the bar is raised. Failure to clear the new height results in their desire and ability being brought into question.
Of course, playing the REO card enables pubcos to validate those ‘fantastic mythical targets’. After all, it’s much easier to blame the ‘athlete’ than face up to some rather unpalatable facts and lower the bar, isn’t it?
Perhaps the time has come for pubcos to pay heed to the wise words uttered by U.S President John F. Kennedy at his inaugural speech in 1961. They seem particularly pertinent, given where we are.
‘Ask not what your tenants can do for you – ask what you can do for your tenants.’
I don’t think he was referring to beer mats and bunting, do you?
Who’s our next caller Ros?”
“I’ve got Steve on the line. He runs The Flying Pig in Reading.”
“Hello Steve, I’m listening.”
“Hi Doc. A hurricane hit Reading last night and took the roof off my pub. I woke up this morning to find we’ve become an open air venue.”
“Presumably you’re paying into some form of repair and maintenance scheme?”
“Oh, I’m paying all right. 700 quid a month into a fund with no cap!”
“So why don’t you just ask your pubco to give you the money you’ve built up so far.”
“I did Doc. They said I can’t have it.”
“What do they mean you can’t have it? It’s your money, isn’t it?”
Yes, but they won’t release it until the work is completed and signed off as satisfactory by my RM.”
“So, how are you supposed to replace the roof if you can’t access the fund?”
“I don’t know Doc. My pubco says that if I don’t carry out the repairs, I’ll breach the conditions of the lease. They’ll then be obliged to do the work and charge me accordingly.”
“Oh yes, I’m sure your partner would be only too happy to step in and help ease your burden. If I were a cynic, I’d probably conclude that this is little more than another income generator for pubcos; exploiting the fact that many publicans are living from hand to mouth.
Compelling you to put money aside to cover the cost of repairs is one thing, denying access to it when required is quite another. The scheme appears designed to ensure tenants have to turn to their so called their partner for ‘help’.
The irony is that pubcos will then utilise funds built up by the tenant to carry out the work. Of course costs will inevitably soar. Any outstanding balance presumably being rentalised; together with a fair wad of administrative fees I’ll wager!
Ah yes, partnership at its very best! Initiatives such as this appear to make a mockery of claims that things are changing for the better.
Is it any wonder our partners feel so energised at this moment in time?
Now then Steve. At times like this we need to think outside the box. Let me ask you a question. Do you actually need your roof?”
“How do you mean Doc?”
“Haven’t you considered merely draping a tarpaulin over your pub to offer customers some respite from the ravages of winter?”
“I don’t follow.”
“Well think about it. Technically speaking, it’ll allow you to retain your open air status. You won’t be obliged to kick the smokers out every time they feel the urge to light up!
Word will spread like wildfire. Before you know it, your pub will become a Mecca for all tobacco junkies in and around the Reading area.
You’ll make a fortune; more than enough to buy a new roof. In fact I suspect you might eventually conclude you’re actually a lot better off without it!”
That’s a great idea! I think I can just about scrape enough together to buy a tarpaulin. Thanks Doc!”
“So, despite assurances to the contrary, it appears little has changed. Behind the ‘bike shed’, schemes are being hatched to squeeze even more out of an already one-sided business relationship.
Will pubcos ever realise what is patently clear to the rest of us? The momentum of churn and closures will only slow when tenants are given the opportunity to make a decent living. I don’t know about you, but 15k a year doesn’t cut it in my book.
Well, sadly we’ve come to the end of another show. Heartfelt thanks go out to all of you that have taken the trouble to tune in over the course of the year.
I’d like to think that between us, we’ve managed to highlight one or two indiscretions on the part of our partners, hopefully generating a smile or two along the way!
May I take this opportunity to wish you all the very best during the forthcoming festive season. It is my fervent hope that your undoubted talents reap the rewards you all so richly deserve.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good mental health; wherever you may be.”