Not to be sniffed at
Visiting loos in the Avalon pub in Clapham, South London, recently I was startled to see a clear, sticky substance covering the toilet seat lid. Suspecting this was residue from some unseemly sexual activity, I sought refuge in the cubicle next door, and lo, it was the same story. On closer inspection, the material in question was just good old-fashioned Vaseline. Not to aid any of the aforementioned goings-on, you understand, oh no; it seems staff at the Avalon have merely found an effective way of preventing the young rugger-buggers of SW12 from snorting Bolivian marching powder from the flat surfaces in their facilities. Good to see the pub trade taking a no-nonsense approach to drugs, although for the truly addicted (and brave), there's always shelf behind the cistern where the bog brush lives…
Keeping the record alive
Hurrah! The pub with apparently the longest name in the UK has been saved! The days of the Old Thirteenth Cheshire Astley Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn in Stalybridge, Tameside, seemed numbered when owner Enterprise Inns put the gaff up for sale. But plucky regulars, including Sarah Gregory, decided they would buy it. Admitting the decision was a "moment of madness" she told the Manchester Evening News she and her fellow investors knew the pub game was a tough one but reckoned they can get away with lower overheads than the big brewery companies: "They're looking for a much higher percentage of profit. We know it's not going to make us millionaires but as long as it's paying for itself we'll be happy." Quite.
A pint a day…
For those concerned at their alcohol intake there was good news last week from America's Time magazine, which reported on a study which found that moderate - even heavy - drinkers were likely to live longer than people who didn't drink at all. Citing a paper published in the snappily titled journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, Time noted that while researchers had cited alcohol as being dangerous in many instances, it nevertheless "lubricates so many social interactions, and social interactions are vital for maintaining mental and physical health." The magazine went on: "The new study provides the strongest evidence yet that moderate drinking is not only fun but good for you. So make mine a double." Drinkaware's Chris Sorek would doubtless disagree...
Back off the beer
I see Alcohol Concern is now a fan of beer. In its response to the government's consultation on how to squeeze more tax out of the industry, sorry, its 'review of alcohol taxation', the health Taliban appear to share CAMRA's view that our national drink is low in alcohol and should not, therefore, be given such a tough time by those cash-collecting Treasury types. AC boss Don Shenker even goes as far as saying that beers and ciders with an ABV of 3.7 per cent or below should not face any additional hikes. That's the same Don Shenker who recently admitted in a Publican interview that he has "no idea" what the ABV on draught beers is and that he feels "a bit of a fool" if he has to ask the staff. Best have a close look at those pumpclimps to make sure you get your healthy, low-alcohol, low(er) cost, non-binge-inducing pint next time it's your round Don.
Quote of the week
"I have a dream of a strong, united trade, proud of its industry. Together we can do this"
Former Enterprise Inns lessee and Justice For Licensees founder Inez Ward, aiming to spot weld her position as the Dr Martin Luther King of the on-trade at last week's launch of the Great British Pub Week