Pub Bitch: Drawing in the punters
Drawing in the punters
Hats off, indeed everything off, to a Glasgow pub that has come up with a novel way of driving trade. The Flying Duck (try saying that after a few pints of Tennents) is running art classes featuring naked models on otherwise quiet Tuesday nights. 'All the Young Nudes', as it's called, has been such a success there is now a waiting list of 100 people wanting to model for the artists, while takings have soared with classes queuing up to have a pint as they sketch. But event organiser Joanna Susskind is mindful to keep an eye out for anyone just there to, ahem, enjoy the view: "There have been times when guys have not been drawing and have just been standing there, holding a beer." Warnings like that should be enough to ensure all the customers have lead in their pencil.
Plain English anyone?
AB-InBev did well in the last quarter, thanks to its sponsorship of the World Cup and the ongoing impact of the Anheuser Busch/InBev merger. But instead of putting it like this in its results statement we got this classic example of corporate claptrap: "Budweiser activated the FIFA World Cup asset for the seventh time, with the most global, experiential and digital programme to date, thanks to the increased scale, footprint and pooled creativity of the new Anheuser-Busch InBev combination." Come again? It gets worse. "For local brands like Brahma, Harbin and Jupiler, the excitement of full immersion as official FIFA World Cup local sponsors for the first time translated into unprecedented regional consumer engagement and brand exposure." Oh. My. God.
Just the job
The week's 'Least Subtle Attempt To Gain A Government Job' award goes to… Greg Mulholland! Calling on the Prime Minister to resurrect the role of a Pubs Minister (see News) the campaigning LibDem MP surprisingly stopped short of suggesting himself. But he was in a less bashful mood at the recent Great British Beer Festival. There he rejected suggestions that his 'shoot from the hip' anti-pubco style might be counterproductive. His set-to's with pubco bosses merely enhanced his standing among licensees, he said. "I don't care what they think of me. Every time I walk into a pub I'm greeted with 'Good on you Greg!'," he added, er, modestly.
Get real...
Regular commentators on stories in The Publican will doubtless be sharpening their tongues over this… a recent poll found 69 per cent of those surveyed would prefer to work in the Queen Vic, in Eastenders, than do their actual job. Yep, they'd really like to work in a pokey, dingy boozer frequented by the likes of Dot Cotton. Now, there are things I'd rather be doing than my day job, but at least I'm a realist. That said, the poll, by research outfit Reabur, found a mere four per cent would stick with their current boss versus going to work for David Brent at Wernham Hogg in Slough or some other fictional company. Still, many pub tenants argue their business relationship manager is a figment of someone else's imagination…
Do you know who I am?
What would you do if you found yourself sitting near Jeremy Kyle? Me too, but Simon Emeny, Fuller's managing director and part-time Sky-baiter, recently encountered the Channel 5 'agony uncle', and hadn't a clue who he was. Drinking with a mate in a bar, Emeny was distracted by Kyle, who was sitting at the next table muttering about being recognised. Gesturing towards a woman across the bar, Kyle said: "She'll want my autograph next." A perplexed Emeny tried to ignore him, before finally asking if the two knew each other. "You don't know who I am?" Kyle asked. "I've no idea," said the Fuller's boss. "Jeremy Kyle," replied the man. "I'm the Jeremy Kyle." Emeny apologised. "I'm sorry. I have absolutely no idea who Jeremy Kyle is," he said. After a classic tumbleweed moment Kyle said: "How refreshing to meet someone who doesn't know who I am."
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