An Essex pub is hoping to attract World Cup "widows" after banning all talk of the tournament while the rest of the country goes football crazy.
The Victory in Walton-on-the-Naze will fine punters who mention the dreaded F word or wear England shirts as Fabio Capello's Three Lions prepare to do battle in South Africa next month.
And licensee Russell Bettany is even refusing to show England matches on his pub's TV.
The crackdown on football lovers is the brainchild of the pub's Humbug Club.
The old grumps made headlines when it banned Christmas from the Victory and made reindeer the highlight of its December menu.
Now it aims to offer a safe haven to anyone who does not know their Crouch from their Cole and thinks the penalty spot is a discipline technique used by Supernanny.
"It is a unanimous decision by staff, management and customers," said Russell.
"The World Cup does get a bit out of hand and seems to take over and football is all anyone talks about.
"My regulars really don't want football in their ears 24/7 so the Humbug Club has struck again and banned the World Cup."
He warned: "Anyone mentioning the F word will be fined a minimum of 20p each time, the same for anyone wearing a football shirt.
"I hope that the World Cup widows will come along to escape from the fuss."
All the money raised will go to East Anglia's Children's Hospices (EACH) which cares for youngsters with terminal or life-threatening conditions.
Since the Humbug Club's scrooge-style activities were first made public when it banned Christmas its membership has soared to 150 and it made news across the world as it was featured on US television.