One for the mature drinker
Perusing my copy of German newspaper Der Spiegel the other day over breakfast I rather bemusedly read about a local brewer who wants to name his beer, well, let's say the word rhymes with 'ducking'. His efforts to patent the brew were initially rejected until someone pointed out there is actually a village in Austria the name of which, er, rhymes with 'ducking'. The brewer, one Stefan Fellenberg, said if the beer proved a hit his company would open breweries in the nearby towns of Kissing, Petting and Piss. Seriously. On the subject of funny place names, I once visited the French village of Condom, and of course in the county of Kent there are neighbouring villages called Pratt's Bottom and Badger's Mount. Cue hearty sniggering, etc.
How does this grab you?
The sassy Scottish pub operator that is G1 has unveiled its latest happening venue, the Ghille Dhu, housed in an old church in Edinburgh's West End. As well as serving up a range of premium drinks and its very own 4.2 per cent 'Ghille Ale' the new establishment features 'periodic features'; booths with their own serving hatches, plus - and I quote - "attention-grabbing male urinals". Now I'm not normally one to speculate on such things, this being a family publication an' all, but it was difficult not to conjure up all sorts of images revolving around exactly how the 'attention' of male customers might be grabbed while answering a call of nature. Hands reaching up through the pipes, etc? Nothing so intrusive, it turns out. Said urinals are simply wacky buckets, rather than the porcelain bowl variety boys are used to.
Are you Glazer in disguise?
In an interview with Publican editor Caroline Nodder last week, Giles Thorley, the soon-to-depart boss of Punch Taverns and West Ham fan, knocked back the suggestion he might stick around in the on-trade following his departure from the UK's largest pub operator. In a reference presumably designed to highlight Punch's market supremacy, Thorley said: "When you've run Manchester United why would you want to run anything else?" Fair play then to the Publican reader who somewhat pithily commented on the online version of the story thus: "When Giles Thorley says that Punch are the Manchester United of the pub world it is because they are riddled with debt, their star names are overpaid and everybody hates them?" Back of the net!
Event of the century
Walkers crisps took the old saying about people turning up for the opening of an envelope a stage further last week, inviting a select bunch to rock up and see a few crisp packets getting popped. Not one to turn down free food, I joined a host of unlikely celebs at the launch of the brand's World Cup promotion and rubbed shoulders with magician Paul Daniels and TV giants like that geezer from Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (see? another pub link).
Naturally crisps legend Gary Lineker was on hand with his usual line of obligatory, self-deprecating jokes: "When filming in South Africa and dressed up in lederhosen a local came up to me and asked 'so did you have to audition for the part?"
"'Yep, I've been doing that for that last 15 years', I told him." (No, I didn't get it either. But at least the crisps tasted OK.)
Of pedals, pumps and pints
Full marks to Suffolk brewer Greene King for embracing Cask Ale Week so heartily last week. The Bury St Edmunds brewer even sent down its own 'pedi-bus', a sort of pedal-powered mobile pub thing, complete with bar and several hand-pumps, to showcase its contribution to the celebration of the nation's beer industry. And, as our photograph shows, those riding this beast of a vehicle can be seen enjoying a smashing pint of Greene King IPA. But hang on. I can't see any casks, or pipes or whatnot normally associated with serving the stuff. Turns out that following the 'pedi-bus' around the streets of London was a van packed to the gills with bottles of the beer, which were then uncapped and poured into pint glasses for summary consumption. Still, at least its heart was in the right place…
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