From the Department of Absurd and Irrelevant Statistics: in 2006 the Tetley brewery in Leeds sold 185 million pints of beer — that's enough to fill 42 Olympic-size swimming pools.
It's absurd and irrelevant because brewers tend not to fill swimming pools with their product. But the figure is pertinent, because who would want to close a brewery capable of producing so much beer?
Tetley is owned by Carlsberg and the Danish group announced last year that it would close the Leeds site and move production to Northampton. The decision has aroused a great deal of anger and consternation. Tetley is an iconic brand. Yorkshire folk treat it with reverence and even love. They don't want the brewery to close and they don't want the beers to be brewed outside Yorkshire.
That reverence was brought home to me forcibly many years ago when the Great British Beer Festival was held in Leeds. The doors were opened at 5pm on the first day. First in were two young men in overalls who had come from a building site across the road.
They looked around the hall at the impressive choice of cask beers from all over Britain. Then one turned to the other and said: "Let's start with two pints of Tets." Tetley drinkers are loyal drinkers.
Joshua Tetley
The brewery was founded in 1822 by Joshua Tetley and it became a sturdy example of Yorkshire grit and determination, famous far and wide with its huntsman logo. Even when it became part of Allied Breweries it remained fiercely independent, brewing Yorkshire beer for Yorkshire people.
When Allied broke up in 1992 its breweries were bought by Carlsberg. For a time, even though the Ansells and Ind Coope breweries had been axed, it seemed the future of Tetley was assured by the simple fact that the new group was named Carlsberg-Tetley. But early this century the Tetley name disappeared and the group became known as Carlsberg UK. The writing was on the proverbial wall.
Tetley's cask beers are superb. As well as the famous bitter, there are two versions of mild. The bitter, in particular, is a beer with an uncompromising hop character that makes it a joy to drink.
But the cask beers have been sidelined. All the emphasis and investment has gone into promoting the "smoothflow" bitter. The handpumped version of the beer has become a rarity.
My objection to global brewers owning British companies has nothing to do with jingoism. It's motivated by the simple fact that the globals don't understand cask beer. How could InBev allow Draught Bass, once worth more than one million barrels a year, to wither on the hop bine?
Scottish & Newcastle/Heineken, in common with Carlsberg, puts all its muscle behind the nitrokeg version of John Smith's Bitter. Coors in Burton-on-Trent repeatedly says it's coming back into the cask-beer fold, but there's little evidence of it to date.
Where Tetley is concerned, Carlsberg has a fight on its hands. A petition to save the brewery and the cask beers was launched at the Great British Beer Festival in August and there's now an online petition for supporters to sign: www.savetetleys.org.uk. The fact that the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA) is behind the petition should prove that the consumer group is not just a mouthpiece for independent and smaller craft brewers and does want to save major brands such as Tetley's.
Petition
Last week the cudgels were taken up by Leeds City Council. A motion moved by Lib Dem councillor David Hollingsworth was passed "nem con" — council-speak for unanimously. Cllr Hollingsworth called on his colleagues of all parties to support the CAMRA petition and added: "To move the brewery and its traditional ales to Northampton is clearly ridiculous and would produce a completely different beer."
He appealed to Carlsberg to look
at three options: to maintain production at the historic Leeds brewery, move elsewhere in Leeds, or get another brewery in the city to brew the cask ales.
It's not a semantic point. All the evidence over many years is that cask beers are too subtle and locked into their places of origin to be moved around from one part of the country to another. A brewery may use the same ingredients and treat the water, but the end result is never the same as the original.
And Northampton is a lager plant. Much of Tetley's character stems from the fact that it's brewed using traditional ale brewing equipment. All the paraphernalia of modern conical fermenters will destroy the unique character of the Yorkshire beers.
Battle has been joined. Help save these beers and keep them in Yorkshire. Sign the petition so we can continue to drink the real Tets.