Hamish Champ: Trying not to faint on live television

I know very well that the country is waking up to the problems facing the pub trade.

How do I know? Because last Friday I had to get up at the crack of dawn in order to appear on BBC Breakfast at precisely 10 minutes to seven in the bleedin' morning to wax lyrical about the problems facing the pub trade.

Now I've done BBC stuff before, but usually in the corporation's compact studio in the Stock Exchange, handily located behind St Paul's Cathedral. This time they wanted me to appear in a studio at Television Centre in West London, miles from my flat in the South East of the capital.

This meant a considerably earlier start to the day than I'm accustomed to, but in truth it wasn't the hour that was worrying me on the day, rather it was the descending hangover that was the cause for concern.

What if the pressure got to me and I passed out on 'live' TV. I was especially fearful since I'd been told I would be standing throughout the interview, rather than sitting on the red sofa like wot all the other guests were doing.

As BBC Business presenter Aaron Heslehurst did his spiel into the camera I was steered by a woman who had the biggest headphones I'd ever seen to two green spots on the floor, where I was to stand in full view of 'my' camera.

As I waited to be introduced I incanted to myself: "Don't faint on live national television! Don't ​faint on live national television!", the thought of being a regular clip in a 'hilarious' Anne Robinson-fronted bloopers' show for years to come being just too​ appalling.

Luckily I didn't faint - though I did feel myself swaying at one point - and I managed to speak without slurring my words. Why were pubs suffering, I was asked? Well, there was the economic downturn; the supermarkets' alcohol retailing strategies; the costs of doing business generally - rents, etc - and the smoking ban. Yes kiddies, I mentioned The Ban.

Our Aaaron didn't pursue this aspect, preferring to focus on things like the health lobby's apparent delight in plummeting beer sales. I cooed something about pubs being responsible places in which to consume alcohol, adding that beer "is what we are" in this country.

Not quite up to my usual pay-off line, "well, that's capitalism for you", but like I said, it was early.

Thankfully it was all over in two minutes and then the next guest was being ushered onto the set to talk about Gordon Brown's imploding premiership.

Then at a party over the weekend a couple of mates mentioned they'd seen me on the telly the day before, and we got round to talking about the reported 39 pubs said to be closing every week.

Their reaction to the statistic surprised me. "If they are sh*t pubs, the ones that are closing, then what's the problem?" they asked. But they're not all sh*t, I said, pointing out the problems facing the pub trade.

This didn't alter their view. One chum even went into overdrive, speaking about how he longed for a decent boozer in his neck of the woods, one that he could call his own instead of the "crappy" pubs his neighbourhood was lumbered with.

With people like him and pubs like the ones near him it's a small wonder the supermarkets make the killing they do.