There's a pair of white stilettos hanging out of the door of the minibus that's parked outside the Rockafellas Bar in Bolton. They've been there for about five minutes. In that time four pirates and about 10 girls in neon legwarmers and tutus have negotiated their way past the bouncers. They don't bat an eyelid. Not even when the girls from Fame jog into the club in slow motion.
They do, however, seem a tad flummoxed when after much faffing, mainly involving the re-application of lip gloss and the counting of small change for the driver, the minibus spills its occupants onto the street. Eight or nine snow-women wobble out and form an orderly queue outside the door.
This is Bradshawgate - a street lined with nightclubs, bars and pubs - in Bolton city centre and it's the last Saturday before Christmas. At this point I feel obligated to say that I saw no fights, no unconscious girls, but yes, plenty of drunk people.
For those working right up until the big day, it's the last chance to meet up with friends and paint the town a festive shade of red. As you would expect, the bars are packed, the office parties are out in force and there's a weird and wonderful array of flesh and fancy dress on show. It's a night so cold it would make a reindeer shiver.
But perhaps what you wouldn't expect to see amongst the party-goers, the taxis, the people handing out leaflets outside clubs and the occasional pile of puke, are the Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) handing out orange and blue bubble pens to revellers. Yes, dual-use pens that double as bubble blowers.
This is Operation Sherry - an initiative set up by the Be Safe Partnership, an organisation that includes Greater Manchester Police and Bolton Council. According to a police press release, the aim behind the exercise is to "help combat anti-social behaviour and alcohol-related violence". Every Saturday in December PCSOs and Town Centre Ambassadors took to the streets armed with the bubbles to do just that.
To find out how effective the scheme is at minimising trouble on those notoriously busy nights before Christmas, I decided to head to Bolton to see for myself.
Pen friends
It's 9pm and so far, so good. Bradshawgate is packed. A man in his early twenties walks past and gets a pen thrust into his hand while mid-conversation with his mates. "Pens are your only friends," he declares as he walks slowly away, holding his new toy high in the air to inspect it.
A girl walks the opposite way, stumbling in clearly very painful shoes. She gets a pen too. "Awww thanks," she says as if someone has just given her the best present in the world. "I want a bubble pen," moans her friend. Another man looks at the pen in disgust and hands it back. "No thanks love, I don't like having the piss taken out of me," he says.
Mixed reactions, then. Moments later a group of girls in short Santa frocks make their way towards us. A Daily Mail photographer also covering the story spots his opportunity and arranges the giggling girls around a clearly embarrassed police officer. I take the chance to ask Inspector Phil Spurgeon, the man in charge of the Town Centre Neighbourhood Policing Team, just how the project has been going. Can bubbles and biros really stop drunk people from getting tetchy on the way home?
It's fair to say that if you want to give the impression that you're taking a hard stance on drink-related crime at Christmas, choosing bubble pens to front your campaign is perhaps not the best idea.
I ask Insp Spurgeon what the thinking is behind using the pens. "We just want people to have a bit of fun, it's as simple as that," he says. Do you think they're an effective way to distract people when they're on their way home, I ask. "It's just a bit of fun," he says. How has it been received by the public, I ask. "Really well. The bubble pens are just a bit of fun," he says. "Anyone who causes problems for us, we'll not be giving them bubble pens."
So it's just a bit of fun, apparently. Perhaps the unflattering headlines the project has received are behind this rather defensive and evasive response. The Guardian covered the story with the headline "How to calm binge-drinkers: get them all blowing bubbles". The Daily Mail took a similar stance with "Forget zero tolerance: Blowing bubbles is the latest 'bonkers' initiative to tackle binge-drinking".
But maybe it really is just a bit of fun. And why are we all so scared of that? Do serious issues like excessive drinking really have to be met with a hardline response? Without wanting to sound like a total hippy, perhaps fun actually is the answer.
Policing with a smile
The authorities in Bolton are clearly not the only ones to think so. Fire-eaters, stilt-walkers, balloon modellers and jugglers were all booked to distract party-goers in Newcastle-under-Lyme. Meanwhile, in Torquay, the police handed out free flip-flops to women in high heels to prevent them falling over. With first-hand experience of just how slippy flip-flops can be when it's wet, I can't help but feel they didn't think this one through.
Charlotte, 23, one of the Mrs Santas, definitely thinks the bubble approach works. "I had my drink spiked about a year ago, so it is reassuring to see so many officers about," she says. "People are always wary of them but I think it gives them a bit of a friendlier touch. You don't expect them to be friendly."
Licensees in the area also seem more than happy. Andrew Jackson is a manager at Vogue Bar. "Obviously the aim is to keep violence away from the town. Small things like this will help to defuse situations," he says. "People leave the venues looking for trouble. This means they can have a laugh instead of a fight."
So, the people of Bolton seem to agree that the pens are effective at dealing with the results of excessive drinking, but what about the cause? Nearly all of the bar windows on Bradshawgate feature posters advertising drinks for between £1 and £1.39.
"We work with the licensees and local authority licensing to try to get that responsible balance," says Insp Spurgeon. "But we have to be realistic. They are fighting for the same amount of business, and that's one tool that they want to use."
So, as with many issues affecting the drinks industry at the moment, there appears to be a lack of consensus of how to deal with the big issues. As long as excessive drinking persists, there will be councils and police forces such as Bolton's that will dream up yet wackier ways to tackle the problem. Pogo sticks, anyone?