There are children in the restaurant. Don't get me wrong, I like children. I was even one myself once. But these children are a nightmare. Here, in the bar, a child sits quietly playing with his mother and father, grandfather and aunt. I can hear scarcely a murmur. There is no mess. He is the embodiment of how children in pubs should behave.
But in the restaurant it is a different matter. There are four children of middle-class parents whose presence here makes me feel uncomfortable. One of my barstaff drew my attention to it when she said she had difficulty getting in through the restaurant door because a child was sitting on the step behind the door. I went to look. There are children running around. Some, sitting on their parents laps, are scribbling noisily on their books and, occasionally, on the table. It has an anarchic feel. The volume of children's noise is intolerable.
Let me put it further into perspective. I have four children, now grown up. I've always taken them to restaurants. But I knew, and they knew, that if they were at all disruptive the experience would be terminated and we would leave. I wanted to enjoy my meal without the disruption of my children and I was certain other diners in there would be happier if they didn't suffer my children.
So how do we deal with it? I've tried stern, disapproving looks but the parents stare back with an expression that says they are paying for it, this is their right and damn anyone who stands in their way. In the past I've tried reasoning with them but this has resulted in distress. How dare I suggest they are being bad parents when they allow their children to crawl behind doors which, should they be opened, could cause terrible injury? What do you mean those diners are complaining? They are just being grumpy.
The problem is that the issue of children in restaurants and bars presupposes that the parents have an element of control and an understanding that, if the children are being disruptive, they must take responsibility and remove themselves from the scene. Even if they feel they are wronged by doing so. Disrupting one or a hundred people in a restaurant is immaterial. And even if no one has complained.
The alternative is to ban children ~ a controversial, and probably highly unpopular, move. That would eliminate the issue in the restaurant causing me discomfort but unfairly discriminate against the very pleasant child in the bar area at the moment.
In the past I have tried to ignore it. Normally my wife tells me off for being so crabby. But the sound of a child shrieking is like the scratching of nails on a blackboard. It is not easily ignored. Whatever the outcome someone is going to be upset. And I will get the blame.