the man from auntie and his saintly partner

Ardent campaigner Robert Feal-Martinez recently had a bit of a rant at the trade bodies and suggested setting up his own national licensee organisation. Since 1992 I've been part of the debate on how, why or what should replace the old national LVA.

It is a relevant, necessary discussion, though I have serious doubts about whether pledging £50 to Mr Feal-Martinez is the answer.

Bob is clearly an intelligent man, although everyone asks me the same question:

if Bob is writing emails all day (see www.morningadvertiser.co.uk) who is running the Carpenters Arms? I reply that I don't know, but I can only presume his wife/partner is approaching beatification.

As opposed to "The Man from Uncle",

Bob ought to be called "The Man from Auntie" because he seems to be anti-everything.

He's almost a throwback to a stereotypical 1980s LVA chairman - all brewery and pubco directors are of dubious parentage and licensees are always right. Bob has criticised the BII, and indeed myself, for launching the most ambitious programme of roadshows to educate members on the recent smoking legislation. Apparently, we were wrong. We should have left them in ignorance and instead poured thousands of pounds of members' money into his "freedom to choose" - or was it "lose" - campaign?

Where Bob crossed the line was in his criticism that Tony Payne CBE had not done enough for his FLVA members. Let me put this simply. If I needed someone to represent me in a problem with my pubco and the choice was between Mr WA Payne and Mr R F-Martinez, it would be like asking a civil servant on their way to Baghdad who they would like as their bodyguard: Robocop or Andy Pandy?