I am sure I am not alone when I say that I feel awkward about tipping. I'm sure it is an English thing.
From a very early age I knew you tipped a waiter or a cabbie. As a child my father would always give me money for a haircut and would also include a tip. (I am embarrassed to admit I always pocketed the tip.) Tipping just made me uncomfortable. But it wasn't just the tip ~ it was the amount. Too little could be offensive, too much could be awkward. It could feel so patronising.
It can be made even more difficult when service is included. What then?
A typical meal in the UK is generally concluded with a series of decisions. Was the service good enough to warrant a tip? Was the food a factor or do you just reward front-of-house? Are the tips shared and with whom? How much do I give? Is service included? Was the service good enough to tip beyond that? It is no wonder that I have indigestion so often when I eat out.
In New York the necessity to tip was spelled out in my guide book. The rule was, apparently, to give around 15 per cent. As tax is added at eight per cent the general rule was to tip double the tax figure. But I was still awkward about it.
On my first night I spoke to a waitress while things were slack. I asked her to explain the situation. Waiting and barstaff, she told me, are exempt from minimum wage protection and she was being paid $4 an hour. Just about £2 an hour. Many waitresses follow the American cliché of aspirant actresses and potential stars working until they hit the big time. But they relied on tips in a manner I suspect the English have almost forgotten. (Curiously, she acknowledged the British often left no tip but said it without rancour.)
I am not sure if in general tipping is right or not. I've seen great service go unrewarded ~ a very helpful tour guide got only one dollar from me because I only had $100 notes in my wallet. Honest.
I've seen mediocre service blessed with a healthy tip. And there is a definite sense that certain postures, outfits and mannerisms can elicit tips which exceed anything service alone could warrant. I consider myself a rational, reasoned person but the right pout, perfume and posture can do it for me. The girls who work in the bar here are often being bought drinks. But no one ever offers to buy me a drink.
I believe in good service. I believe in a good rate of pay. I believe in rewarding good service with good pay. But however I position things the plain fact is ~ I feel uncomfortable about tipping. Giving them, receiving them or witnessing it elsewhere.
So now I have decided to encourage my wife to pay the bills in future. That should ease the anxiety and help stop my indigestion.