Heal Farm 12-Bird 'True Love Roast'
When I told Sid the barman I was thinking of having a 12-bird roast this Christmas, he got that funny look again. He definitely needs to find a nice girl and settle down, but it's not easy with that tattoo.
What I was talking about was the new True Love Roast, from Heal Farm Sensational Food in Devon. It's a combination of meats from 12 types of bird, each stuffed or layered with Heal's range of fresh, natural stuffings, and you get 125-plus servings from each, which should see us through nicely to Boxing Day. Does anyone know what squab actually tastes like?
Heal Farm 01769 574341 www.healfarm.co.uk
Bisto and Paxo
Who wants stuffing? We make that joke every time we break out the Paxo, the hours just fly by in that kitchen. Paxo is the number one stuffing brand, and no turkey should contemplate Christmas without it.
And it just wouldn't be the same without gravy, would it? Bisto will once again be making it a merry Christmas around here. The gravy granules come in Favourite, Chicken, Onion, Turkey and Vegetarian varieties. Anyone whose tastes aren't covered by that range will have to stick with crisps.
Premier Foods 0800 328 4246
Lyons Seafoods
We usually have a bit of fish on the Christmas menu - thankfully, they're laminated - and we're raising our game a bit this year with the range from Lyons Seafoods. It includes Smoked Salmon and Asparagus Timbales, Salmon Canapés and Prawn and Sun-Dried Tomato Terrine. They make ideal starters or buffet items.
Lyons Seafoods 01985 851322 www.lyons-seafoods.com
3663 sausage rolls and buffet selection
Speaking of buffets, I like to keep something warm on the counter for my after-work regulars at Christmas, so it's back to the 3663 catalogue for jumbo sausage rolls and cocktail sausage rolls, as well as vegetable savoury rolls. We've also got a few buffets booked in, including the Townswomen's Guild, who can get a bit lively if they don't have plenty of ballast, so the 3663 selection packs of seafood tartlets, mini filled brioche and mini crostini will help save my soft furnishings from too much punishment.
3663 0870 3663 000 www.3663.co.uk
Whites frozen range
I always think of our 3663 delivery man as Santa Claus. Although how he stays quite so jolly is a mystery. This year I'm getting him to fill my stocking - or at least my freezer - with 3663's range of Whites frozen products. The Whites Mediterranean vegetable tart is a great vegetarian main course option - there's always one, isn't there? - and the Whites venison, pork and sloe gin sausages are an alternative when the turkey starts to wear a bit thin.
3663 0870 3663 000 www.3663.co.uk
Authentic Food Company buffet range
For a slightly more cosmopolitan festive spread - and we do get quite a mixed crowd in here since they opened that hostel - I shall be turning to the Authentic Food Company. As well as Oriental dim sum - we love the sweet chilli chicken batons and duck cracker spring rolls and Indian snacks, it offers marinated chicken teppo Sticks, specially created for sharing platters, buffets and combos. I've no idea what they are, but they sound lovely.
www.theauthenticfoodcompany.com
Bernard Matthews 'Roast-for-0ne' Turkey Fillet
Turkey for one sounds a bid sad, but you have to remember that without lonely, desperate people the British pub wouldn't be what it is today. Bernard Matthews Food Service's latest idea is a Rolled Turkey Fillet with Pork, Prune & Apple Stuffing, which makes a mini-roast-for-one. The company also has a variety of natural roasts and turkey cuts. Which is ideal for Christmas, when you think about it.
Bernard Matthews Food Service 01603 876615, www.bernardmatthews.com
Lotus Professional tableware
You have to make a bit more of an effort when it comes to sprucing up the tables at Christmas, don't you? Even if it does always look like the Battle of the Somme afterwards. I'm trying to choose one of Lotus Professional's three exciting new designs in its Christmas tableware range. I think Tartan Twist is probably more for Hogmanay, but White Christmas and Chocolate Box are both lovely. Each design includes napkins, table coverings and crackers.
Lotus Professional 0114 285 6666
Pritchitts butter
I shall be wheeling out granny's mince pie recipe again this year, and using Pritchitts 250g salted packs of butter for the pastry. It's produced from free range cows that graze Irish meadows and is packaged in parchment material so you can soften it in the microwave. I won't tell you how granny used to soften her butter, but it would never get past an EHO.
Pritchitts 0845 1300 307 www.pritchitts.com
Schwartz for Chef Sage and Onion Stuffing
As I've already mentioned, we love a good stuffing around here. For our more upmarket customers, I'm going to use Schwartz for Chef Sage and Onion Stuffing Mix, with parsley and chives. It's free from artificial colours and preservatives. Although I'm not sure how much comfort that is to the turkey.
Schwartz for Chef 08081 000363
Heinz Magic Beanz promotion
He's behind you! To celebrate the panto season, Heinz Foodservice is giving two readers of The Publican the chance to win £100 of theatre tokens to see Jack & The Beanstalk this Christmas. Rather than continually using beans as a side portion, Heinz Foodservice is encouraging pubs to think of new ways to use Heinz Baked Beanz and bring some excitement to the menu. Email suzi@proactivecommunications.co.uk, quoting Magic Beanz.
Heinz Foodservice 0800 57 57 55 www.heinzfoodservice.co.uk