Chris Maclean: the ballet behind the bar

Yesterday I visited London. It's a busy place.

I am an impatient person, so my wife tells me, and I loathe queues and crowds. I don't think I am claustrophobic. I just get frustrated when the flow of crowds of pedestrians is so slow.

People seem to aimlessly drift. They randomly stop to chat. They gather in groups in pinch-point areas slowing the flow further.

They leap out of shop doorways in front of you and then start walking at glacial speeds. Then stop to answer their mobile phone.

There was some important research done some years ago on people walking in crowds (I cannot remember how many tens of thousands of pounds spent on that one) which showed that men passing women pass face to face. Men passing men go back to back. I am not sure you can predict behaviour that simply.

A great friend of mine who commuted regularly gave me the advice that, when trying to walk in crowded areas, walk against the flow. People coming towards you can look at you and see you. It's the ones in front, going in the same direction, that randomly decide to change direction or stop.

The one consolation I have is that, at 6'3" eighteen stone and huge with it, when pedestrians, without looking, bowl into me they simply bounce off. Sometimes I suspect I even enjoy that happening.

So why am I writing about walking in crowds?

It is because I've got a new member of staff and she is very good. She is enthusiastic, bright, cheerful and energetic. But she has never worked behind a bar before.

In that limited area people have to be very careful. You need to work fast, cleanly and efficiently, and smile throughout. And when it is working well there is a ballet-like beauty about it as staff intuitively know where the other staff are. There is contact but no touching.

Our new member hasn't yet developed that instinctive radar. Drinks have been spilt. Toes have been trodden on. But she will get there.

Barstaff (and restaurant and kitchen staff) are the masters of working in tight environments without bumping into each other.

I wonder if that will be the case at this week's Publican Live trade show?