I'd like to have lived in a Manns world. An innocent, charming world where moustaches, monocles and manners madeth the man; where men kept a snuffbox in their waistcoat pocket and not a Blackberry; where men gave youngsters a clip round the ear for being so cheeky and not, grudgingly, their laptop and wallet under the duress of knife-point.
Alas, those days are long gone. It's no longer a Manns world. Manns' principal role, making badly-kept pints of cask mild more palatable, has been rendered almost obsolete thanks to the advent of canny cellar management and fickle drinking trends.
Sure, there are a handful of traditionalists who still add Manns to their pint, and one drinker in Liverpool who apparently mixes it with WKD Blue. But beyond its North-Western heartland let's face it, in these days of chilled premium lagers, Chilean pinot grigio and chalkboard gastro-pub menus, a bottled British sweet brown ale with an ABV of 2.8 per cent is not what the drinking hordes are after.
Selling Manns in today's climate is hard work I imagine - like trying to wow the MP3 generation with a 78" vinyl record. Owner Refresh UK considered raising the ABV and revamping the packaging but, thankfully, it decided not to mess with an iconic, century-old brand.
Besides, these are post-modern ironic times we live in. Old is the new er… new, apparently. What better way to charm the designer pants off speciality beer drinkers than to offer them an authentic, long-forgotten beer style once drunk by Britain's working classes? To further whet one's nostalgic appetite, Manns is actively returning to its 1902 roots and re-inventing itself as a mixer. Yes, in the biggest drinking departure since George Best left for the pub in the sky, Manns is swapping its flat cap for a trendy Trilby and striding confidently into the cocktail arena.
Unlikely transformation
To kick-start this unlikely transformation, leading cocktail bartender Chris Edwardes recently conducted a Manns mixology workshop in Brighton.
We started with Manns on its own. In short, it's a wonderful beer. Extremely drinkable, creamy, sweet but not sickly, and hugely moreish.
Over ice in a pint glass, the suggested serve of the moment, the drop in temperature reduced the sweetness and called for a dollop of ice cream to make an alternative 'coke-float'. Traditional pairings followed: Smoothflow was too thin, stout was velvety and the hops in best bitter just confused matters. If liquid Turkish Delight is your thing, mix Manns with a Liefmans Kriek (cherry) beer, it's delicious. With Liefman Framboise (raspberry), a 50/50 mix was too sweet but when we changed it to 70/30 in Manns' favour it worked wonders.
We moved from beers to the back-bar to explore Manns' spiritual side. Grand Marnier saw excited talk of marmalade and Jaffa Cakes come to the fore; Crème de Menthe was too menthol; peach schnapps was too synthetic; creme de cacao too sweet; and Malibu produced an intriguing mix of Bounty bar and Afro-Caribbean hair cream. A Kahlua fan? Then you'll like it with Manns. The less said about sweet vermouth and Cointreau, the better. And Pernod shouldn't work but, honestly, it does.
The dark spirits faired better, with Manns operating as a less synthetic and less gassy version of Coca-Cola. Coffee, chocolate, orange and vanilla notes arose with the Bacardi 8-year-old while a shot of Chambord gave the mix good body, depth and a hint of cream soda.
The idea of mixing beer with Talisker may give dram aficionados a heart attack but the Manns successfully softens the burn and also allows the smoke and peat to come through.
Yet it was with bourbon that Manns really impressed. The coming together of Maker's Mark and Manns was an epiphany, the slight bitterness in the beer lengthening out the sweetness to produce an enchanting alternative to the Jack Daniel's & Coke.
Neither the Tennessee whiskey nor the soft drink giant will be losing much sleep about Manns but these beer cocktails are easy to make and, with innovation so sparse in the beer market, worth experimenting with.
Ben was awarded the title of Beer Writer of the Year for 2006 by the British Guild of Beer Writers.
Manns Cocktail, by Chris Edwardes
1 and a half shots of Jose Cuervo tequila
1 shot of caramel liqueur
1 shot of gomme
juice of one lime
Shake and pour over ice and top-up with Manns