Big D Malene calendar
It doesn't take much to please the blokes that gather round our bar on a Friday night - just a pint, a packet of nuts and a lady friend with all her bits and bobs in roughly the right place. So imagine their delight when they saw the new calendar posted to us by Big D. Not only do they get they get their salty snacks, they get a year's-worth of piccies of Big D babe Malene. Apparently she was chosen as the face of Big D - although I'm sure that wasn't the part of her body they based their decision on - after a poll in the Daily Star. We haven't seen anything like it since our last wet t-shirt competition.
Big D: 0151 523 8700
Westlers Bigmex Barrels and snack boxes
For a while if a customer demanded a barrel, I'd bolt all the doors to the downstairs of the pub out of fear they were going to raid the cellar. Now, though, they're probably just asking for one of these share-size portions of Westlers snacks. Their Bigmex Barrels contain packs of tortillas, salsa dip and cheese dip to be taken away by customers from the bar to tables. Snack boxes are smaller servings.
Westlers: 0800 027 6336, www.westlerfoods.com
Kellogg's cereal snacks
My grandkids eat cereal around the clock, but never with milk. I drew the line when they tried to smother their cornflakes in tomato ketchup the other day, but it made me realise that perhaps there's something in peddling cereal at other times of the day. That's why I've started stocking Kellogg's Special K and Nutri-Grain bars. Especially popular is the new Nutri-Grain Oat Baked Bar - which comes in either Totally Oaty or Cherry flavours.
Kellogg's: 0800 783 6676, www.kelloggsfoodservice.co.uk
Mr Porky Crispy Bacon Bites
Women drinking in here are rarely worried about looking classy. I gather though that, in other drinking establishments, the fairer sex can be worried about looking unladylike when belching over a half-eaten packet of pork scratchings. Maybe Mr Porky's new Bacon Bites would be more appealing. Lighter than traditional scratchings, they come in tomato sauce and brown sauce flavours. Girls, pop your heels on a bar stool, your glass of rosé on the table and scoff some.
Mr Porky: 0121 505 1500
Tyrrells strawberry, sweet chilli and white wine potato chips
It's enough to melt my old heart. These crisps are a special edition for Valentine's Day and 10 per cent of the money will be donated to the charity Breast Cancer Haven. They are available in 50g bags and are made using potatoes grown on a Herefordshire farm. Whatever happened to ready salted?
Tyrrells: 01568 720 244, www.tyrrellspotatochips.co.uk
Convivial Yorkshire Crisps parsnip vegetable crisps with black pepper
Parsnips must be up there with sprouts as the least-liked Christmas vegetable. This year, I boiled them until perfectly tender, allowed them to cool, peeled and sliced them longways, put them in a baking dish along with milk, eggs and nutmeg, and baked them for 45 minutes… then I threw them all in the bin, realising that was the best thing for parsnips really. Strange then that these parsnip vegetable crisps are delicious. They come from the Convivial Yorkshire Crisp Company, and like all its snacks they are in tubs designed for sharing.
Convivial Yorkshire Crisps: 01909 774 411, www.yorkshirecrisps.co.uk
Sun Valley nuts
Believe it or not, my New Year's resolution was to cut down on the snacks, but I've never been able to say no to a salty nut since that magic night in Rhyl. Sun Valley works with the American Peanut Council to deliver the highest quality products, and you can certainly tell by the taste. It's funny, because we have a regular who works for the council, and he said the other night that he's paid peanuts.
Sun Valley: 0151 482 7100, www.sun-valley.co.uk