In Session... with Ben McFarland
Feeling tired and weary our intrepid beer expert Ben McFarland took a trip to a Swiss brewer last month to find out the healing and relaxing qualities of hops, barley and yeast.
Imagine Switzerland as a cuckoo clock - or rather an expensive watch face - and the Appenzellerland region can be found at about half-past one, nestled within the rolling foothills of the Swiss Alps.
Appenzellerland is a bit strange if truth be told. The butt of all Swiss urbanite jokes, it's the least populated region of Switzerland, where cows outnumber people and where dairy farmers inexplicably wear teaspoons hung from their ears (making them look camper than a row of tents).
It's where locals make "music" by rotating a silver five-franc piece round the inside of a crockery bowl (good if you like humming); and where (and this is not a joke) women only got the regional vote in 1991.
But if this all seems a little backward, what the local brewery is doing with its beer is anything but. Karl Locher, joint owner and charismatic master brewer of the local Appenzelle brewery, runs Switzerland's only independent and most leftfield brewery, dating back to 1886.
Its eclectic range of "beers with altitude" include the flagship Vomond Bier - meaning Full Moon and brewed only when the moon is at its most rotund - a wonderfully floral hemp lager, beer made from chestnuts. As great as the beers are, it's Karl's pioneering ideas about beer and health that are the most remarkable.
Karl has joined forces with a local and rather fancy spa resort, Hotel Hof Weissbad, to develop some extraordinary health treatments using his beer.
The hotel receives all the by-products of the brewery and then uses it for the good of the mind, body and soul as part of its four-day Ninkasi Organic Beer Course.
You can have an all-over body cleansing using malt mash and beer residue that strips off dead cells and gets the blood flowing; there's a luxurious massage bath where beer yeast is thrown into the mix before working its magic on your skin and circulation; you can even get a haircare treatment and scalp massage using Ninkasi Beer, a low-alcohol lager that tastes a lot better than Head & Shoulders.
I received the "Energetic Massage with Hops Pistils" which, according to my excessively attractive young Swiss masseuse, helps harmonise and balance energy, nourishes the skin and relaxes one's nerves and muscles.
For any red-blooded male, keeping one's nerves and muscles relaxed in such a cosy situation is easier said than done but after 40 minutes of being tenderly pummelled with coarse hop flowers and a hop-infused oily goo, I was not only kipping like a baby but also had skin smoother than the backside of one too.
In addition to the therapy, all meals over the four-day course showcase beer's life-enhancing properties too. There's delicious beer bread, a malty "thinking-man's ovaltine" style-drink, balsamic vinegar made from beer and, best of all, a gastronomic phenomenon called Kabier Beef, sourced from local farmers Sepp Dahler and his wife Magdalena.
They take malt, grains, first runnings and yeast supplied by Karl, in return for wheat grown on their farm, and treat their cattle to a sensual massage twice-a-day. What's more, the animals also drink beer.
It's an idea they got from Japan, where farmers do the same with sake to produce the sought-after Kobe Beef. "We call it Kabier," Sepp told me, as I desperately tried to ignore the fact that he was standing in a cow pat.
"The meat tastes tender, really rich and a little spicier." Not only is the flavour enhanced by the myriad of nutrients present in the beery sludge but by slapping it onto cows with a clothes brush it makes the herd more relaxed, chilled out and content. Ah, the joys of beer strike again!
The Appenzelle beers are now available over here. Feel free to wash your hair with them or apply as a body lotion but I'd recommend drinking them.
For details visit www.suisseconnection.com
