Wednesday morning at nine o' clock, the day begins when the doorbell rings. It is the man in the white coat (don't go there). Each week, we discuss the weather and the price of fish, especially tuna steaks, after all, he is Jon, my fresh fish man. The price increase fluctuates between 10p and 40p per lb, although we immediately translate the discussion into kilos and centigrade to ensure we are abiding by EU regulations! I get into my car and call for diesel. It has gone up by 2p per litre from last week. I stop at Tescos. The cauliflowers are 25p more than I can ever remember. There is a crisis in the tinned tomatoes section. Apparently, there has been a severe frost in Palermo. I eventually make my way to the pedestrian precinct that is known as the M5/M6 interchange. I stop at the services for a coffee, which costs 6p to make. I am charged £1.95p. I buy a paper. There is uproar a local brewery has put up the price of beer by a fraction more than inflation. There must be something in our psyche regarding the price of beer, ie, bitter and, around where I live, mild. No one gives a damn that lager is cheaper to make, yet costs more. Manufacturers can coddle together some water, flavourings and a ton of sugar and sell it across the bar for £3.50p. I noticed WKD had reduced the size of their bottles recently. Did they drop the price? No, wicked! Camra enthusiasts can get extremely excited over 5% of froth on my local pint of bitter, but what about the head on a cappuccino at Starbucks? Stick 4p on a pint of mild and you have the most potential unrest since the Chartist riots of 1848. I am not altogether sure that we exploit the passionate concerns of our beer drinkers. The German consumer does appear to have some understanding of the process of production and beer-purity laws (1516 Reinheitsgebot). Perhaps, we should inform our clientele more. A simple chart showing ingredients, taxation, duty and profit margins would be a sensible initiative to consider. These could be proudly displayed in the loos, adding an educational aspect to the recycling process. There are aspects of how we announce our price increases that always infuriate me. Brewery companies always conveniently forget the duty element. Talking about a 3% increase (ie, £300 to £309 per barrel), they say the £9 is an increase on the base price less duty ie, more than 3%. There are always a variety of reasons for the increase from additional National Insurance payments and rates, to vet's bills for the company cat. Companies cannot resist informing all and sundry that the increase is about Xp per pint, suffering a second bout of amnesia in forgetting that the justification which they gave for the increase eg, National Insurance payments, rates etc applies equally to their tenants or lessees. The licensees in setting their price increase, eg, 10p, is then totally undermined as every customer who comes into the pub begins his/her first sentence with the words "but the brewery said it would only go up by X pence". When it comes to declaring price increases, it is high time that companies supported the licensee rather than bite the hand that feeds them. The nose have it I was attending a licensing law seminar recently and got into a discussion with a local councillor from Liverpool. I was asked whether the trade ever got involved in national charity activities. "What do you mean?" I enquired. "Well, take Red Nose Day, for example," he said. "I'll have you know," I informed him, "that many of our family brewers were supporting Red Nose Day for well over a century before it became popular." For the common good Having advocated that Wolver-hampton & Dudley should abandon its "full pint" policy in this column just under a year ago (21/03/02), I shall avoid any "told you so" comments, as it was rightly a difficult decision. I made the recommendation (after 20 years of drinking with my fellow cricketers in W&D pubs) armed with the sure knowledge that the consumer does not understand the 24oz v 20oz situation. The irony is that I do, so I am having to come to terms with the fact that I have deprived myself of 4% extra Banks' Original. Talk about self-sacrifice for the common good. What must have been difficult for W&D to come to terms with is the fact that the Government did not introduce the legislation that it said it would on numerous occasions both in and out of office. There is an old Italian saying, roughly translated about the similarity between politicians and donkeys they both kick you in the b******* when you least expect it. Agra phobia Now, I do like to travel. Christmas saw a dream fulfilled with a visit to northern India, the land of Mogul emperors and maharajahs. On arriving in Agra, I turned on the mobile phone to see if I had any festive messages. Almost immediately, it began to ring. It was Matt Batham of Bathams Brewery. "Phil how am yer, how yow doing?" said Matt in fluent Black Country. "I'm fine, where are you?" I replied. "I'm on my way to Ma Pardoes in Netherton [the White Swan famous for it's home-produced Pardoes bitter and one of the most respected real-ale pubs in the country]." "Where am yer?" he enquired. "In Agra, just about to go the Taj Mahal." There was a moment of silence before Matt enthused: "Well, you could say we are both about to visit one of the wonders of the world." On arriving at the Taj, the security was tight. Having passed through the metal detector, I was frisked by an Indian soldier. "What is that, sir?" he demanded to know, holding my left trouser pocket. "A contact lens case," I informed him. "And this?" holding another pocket. "A comb," I replied. "What for?" he demanded, looking totally baffled. phildixoncmbii@aol.com
