While magistrates mince words, more than 500 pub and bar football teams around Britain are getting bruised and muddy in the battle for seats on a plane to South Korea.
Budweiser, Official Beer of the World Cup, has organised the six-a-side competition which kicked off at the end of April.
That will determine four national champions from England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland who will each make the trip to the Budweiser Cup finals on June 15 and play at a real World Cup stadium, the Incheon. Twelve other amateur teams from around the world will be competing.
"We are offering football fans the thrill of representing their country against teams from around the world in an actual World Cup stadium," said David Dryden, marketing director at Budweiser brewer Anheuser-Busch.
As well as playing on the same field as World Cup footballers, Budweiser Cup national champions will experience some of the luxury that goes along with being a football star.
The teams will receive round-trip airline tickets to Seoul, four nights first-class hotel accommodation and tickets to two World Cup matches.
Qualifying tournaments are also being held in Australia, China, Guam, Honduras, Ireland, Italy, Mexico, South Korea, Cyprus and Spain.
Throughout the Budweiser Cup, teams will play 20-minute games on half-size pitches. Regional finals are currently under way and the national finals will be played at Swansea on May 12, Queen's University, Belfast, on May 18, Chelsea on May 25 and Hearts on May 29.
If you're not part of the Budweiser event, why not organise your own wacky competition?
Global Games produces an inflatable football games that you can set up in a function room, garden or car park.
There's the Speed Cage which tests the speed of a player's shot, while attracting attention and creating a competitive crowd atmosphere.
Also, there's the RealSport Simulator - a digital sports simulator in which players kick a real football at a screen inside a customised World Cup 2002 pitch. The screen has realistic crowds, background and even a goalie that moves to catch the ball as it's kicked.
- www.globalgames.co.uk.
Facing up to the summer
If you need to convince your local licensing magistrates that your pub will be taking an active part in the World Cup there are plenty of promotional ideas around that show you are really encouraging your customers to participate.
For the big England games, for instance, you could get hold of some face masks - all the fun of face-painting with none of the mess.
Made from medical grade foam tape - designed to be breathable and peel on and off painlessly - they are supplied by Essex-based company On Your Face.
Union Jacks and St George crosses are available.
Turkey is a real favourite
Themed menus could be another way of exploiting the summer of sport - especially if you run a family pub.
Bernard Matthews has gone so far as to produce footballer-shaped turkey pieces for the World Cup. You get a goalie and two strikers all covered in crispy crumb to give the kids a taste of World Cup fever.
They are prepared by frying or baking and the company recommends they are served with beans and mash, pasta and salad or chips and peas. Stickers and posters are available to promote the dishes.