It's almost impossible to explain the atmosphere of dejection in the England dressing room after our defeat in the second Test in Adelaide.
We had played really well for most of the game and had still been harbouring hopes of pushing for a victory as we went into the last day's play.
And then to throw away everything we had worked so hard for in just a few hours of madness.
It really hurts.I can assure you of one thing, we won't be giving up on the Ashes just yet.Matthew Hoggard
There was an even greater sense of disappointment for me after I had taken seven wickets in Australia's first innings.
I received a lot of compliments on my performance and I'm not one for blowing my own trumpet, but that was definitely one of the most satisfying performances of my career.
The conditions were all in the batsman's favour and when it's like that, as a bowler you just have to keep plugging away and be patient.
It was especially pleasing for me to dismiss Ricky Ponting and Mike Hussey when they had been playing so well.
But talking about personal performances feels wrong after the whole thing went so spectacularly wrong for the team.
Still, as fed up as we were, we still had a beer in the dressing-room with the Aussies after the game (specially imported bottles of Pedi I hasten to add).
It's not easy to do that when you've just been beaten, but it's part of the spirit of the game and the camaraderie is, for many players, the best thing about playing cricket for a living.
The Aussies were criticised by some of their former players for being too friendly with us during the 2005 series in England, when we won the Ashes.
As a result, I think they're determined not to be too matey out on the field this time. In particular, Geraint Jones, our wicketkeeper, has been getting some stick from Shane Warne. Geraint's family live in Brisbane and his Dad was quoted criticising Warney in one of the local papers. So when Geraint came out to bat in Adelaide, Warney was asking where his Dad was and whether he'd be coming out to the middle to help him!
And I can assure you of one thing, we won't be giving up on the Ashes just yet. The game in Adelaide showed us that, whatever the state of the game, there are always twists and turns in the tale. There are three matches left and if we win two and draw one, we'll retain the Ashes. There's still a long way to go in this series.